Monday, September 30, 2013

Holy Spirit is opening up new marital arrangement

Monogamy is a struggle to those who are born with the orientation to desire multiple partners. The answer is here: Polyamory.

According to Wikipedia: Polyamory, often abbreviated as poly, is often described as "consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy." The word is sometimes used in a broader sense to refer to sexual or romantic relationships that are not sexually exclusive, though there is disagreement on how broadly it applies; an emphasis on ethics, honesty, and transparency all around is widely regarded as the crucial defining characteristic.

Besides, overcoming many monogamy struggles, polyamory encourages honesty, openness and communication in relationship. It gets people to really spend time to talk through stuffs. "People in these relationships really communicate. They communicate to death," said Bjarne Holmes, a psychologist at Champlain College in Vermont. As a polyamorist said, "We don’t have a choice. We’re in love with each other." This by itself already surpasses all struggling monogamous couples who can't even hold a decent conversation with each other for more than 30 minutes without bursting into argument.

For non-religious people, this is a good thing to propose for the society as a whole. It promotes communication among people and also provides a better domestic and economic supporting structure for children to grow up. As a polyamorist pointed out, "It seems to be that a child brought up by three loving parents would have some quite big economic advantages, and humans have cooperated in child-rearing since the year dot." Besides, elderly folks in polyamory relationship can age together actively, "We’re all planning to grow old together." This could virtually solve the problem for low birth rate and the challenges of aging population. Government should review existing law; Registry of Marriage should start drafting new marriage agreement.

For Christians, polyamory is a new way the Holy Spirit is moving to open up new social arrangement that cultivates new environment for people to grow deeper in Christ as well as in each other. Churches should not react to polyamory like how they have been reacting to gay sexuality; it is "a shame because those who are speaking out of fear are missing such a powerful moment of the moving of the Holy Spirit. They could be one with the rushing widening of human experience and awareness but they fight this flow rather than join in it."

Polyamory, like gay sexuality, encourages authentic love. As a polyamorist said, "It's not like there's only so much love I have to give and I have to give all of it to one person. I can love as many people as I can fit in my heart and it turns out that's quite a few." The Bible's monogamous passages are meant for ancient people. Like the issue on slavery, we know better now. Churches and pastors should start designing liturgy to bless polyamory marriage so as not to miss where the Holy Spirit is blowing or prevent the spreading/sharing of love. We should not prevent people who are really in love with each other and every other to be in covenantal consensual relationship. Besides, polyamory critiques and subverts the oppressive tyranny of heterosexual monogamous bigots! As a polyamorist advocated, "Personally, I started practicing non-monogamy in my early 20s as a statement against the tyranny of the heterosexual couple form and the patriarchal nuclear family." Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, and even Jesus would support it! After all, this is a matter of human rights! Churches and Christians have to move fast to endorse and celebrate polyamory so that we can join others in praise and thanksgiving for all these wonderful new Spirit-driven expressions of love:
"The Holy Spirit is opening our eyes to this — can’t you see it! I give thanks that New York will soon join those who do and invite us all to make sure we do not miss jumping on board this joyful movement of God."

***Note: Keep calm. All I'm doing is highlighting some of the most common arguments for non-heterosexual monogamous arrangement.

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