Friday, March 25, 2005

2 Helpless People

"Why should creatures have the burden of existence forced on them without their consent?" - C.S Lewis, Loki Bound

Cosmoslogically, teleologically, epistemologically, and morality has been clear in saying to me, "hey lame, I exist and as 'long' as I am here, you will have to know that I meant what I said".

I am in contradiction. And being in this is frustrated for every thinker. No thinker would like to contradict himself just as no straigth line to be crooked OR crooked line to be straight. You are either crooked or straight, you cant be both. And for those who say "you can draw a 'circular line' to prevent both consequences, go and draw that kind of line and be satisfied.

Last week, i have been trying all out to reach a successful denial. The furthest that i could get to is NO WHERE. There isnt a reason that i thought of that does not involved epistemology. The more i think, the heavier my head became. The moment i tried to reason, Madam Reason was there looking at me in pity. Why pity? Because it is really pitiable when someone is trying to use the causal means to disvalid its very own causality.

It was a horrible war. I was trying to think but whenever i think, my thought reflects that i am, in fact, thinking, thus i was resorted to not think in order to think. It was horrible. I gave in at last; I submited myself. There is NO WAY that i could think and betray thinking itself.

It is surprising if someone who claimed to be logical and yet deny the very Logic that his/her logic conforms to. But there are, i met a few of them. In fact, i was one of them.

I dont hope for another battle like that. I dont want to battle this same battle again. Not that i couldn't win, but that of i couldn't fight.

I am helpless.

There are a few tried to help, but they failed terribly like me.

"In the Trinity Term of 1929 I gave in, and admitted that God was God, and knelt and prayed: perhaps, that night, the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England." - C.S Lewis, Mere Christianity

Saturday, March 19, 2005


YEAH!!!! Tired week!!!!!
Been busy marketing new products. Preparing marketing tools and executing some strategies. HaHAHaha..wat an interesting job that i've been blessed with.

Besides being stretch at work, was really in tense (mentally) with some entries on some other blogs. Was in a few doctrinal arguments with thinkers from my blood-land (Tanah tumpahnya darahku). All started by Jacksaid when he posted that SENSITIVE entry on his blog and affected a few other blogs to be in discussion of that topic.

So, in attempt to gain some peace in mind, i called Jacksaid. We spent the first 20 minutes on arguments, 15 minutes on discussion, and the last 10 minutes on agreement. Finally, we reached the same conclusion, that is; both of us are FOOLS.

Had dinner with Scott, Amos, Sweeling, Dawn and Clarence. After dinner, shopped for some souvenirs with Scott as he's heading back to US. Meeting him make me feel like Iraeneus when he was listening to Polycarp's tales about John. Reading books by prodigious authors and meeting their student was a good experience. It's silly cos i never really thought of 'knowing'( more like, hearing stories of) these apologetic giants.

Been dreaming of being under their discipleship in my academic pursuit. But in reality, i am inferior academically. Took 10 subjects in Secondary 4, but failed 8 of them. haihhh....somemore being addressed as one of the most troubled student in my class. My world was anything but academic.

"ει δε τις υμων λειπεται σοφιας αιτειτω παρα του διδοντος θεου πασιν απλως και μη ονειδιζοντος και δοθησεται αυτω"

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Wei Ling's House

Highlights of this pic: Wei Ling(second from left) and Jui Min (third from left).

The guy next to my left (in that pic) is Jacksaid, my sparring partner, and he seldom smile. No idea why.

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Saturday, March 12, 2005

The Night Is So Young

Watched 2 and 1/3 of movies today.
Why 2 and 1/3 is because i managed to finish the first 2 but slept all the way through the 3rd movie...only manage to watched 1/3 of it..

The first one was ALIEN v.s PREDATOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought i will be the last person on earth to watch it... why? Cos i dont like paul w.s anderson (the director). Was very disappointed with his previous Mortal Kombat, Soldier and Resident Evil...All these movies are rubbish!

Mortal Kombat was a BIG failure to me. It doesnt has enough special effects, not much of exciting fighting scene; overally: BAD SCRIPT

SOldier was a not-so-big failure but still FAILED. The cinematography is worse than The Lion King. There are same failures: Not-so-bad but still BAD script, too few special effects, unexcited fighting scenes (Jackie Chan's 80s productions are better than this), and THE SAME DIRECTOR!

Resident Evil was the most anticipating video-game-turned-movie for me, but when i finished watching it, i realized i have wasted (almost) 2 hours of my time, the electricity for the TV and player, attention to focus on other BETTER things to do, and my trillions of YAWN!

Actually when i first heard of AVP (Alien V.S Predator), my heart bounced twice in a second and my mind started to convince myself that the recent filmographic effects by Hollywood could really bring REALISM of Alien and Predator to the BIG SCREEN. And both Alien and Predator are my favourite movies that got me close half of my eyes when i watched them when i was still a kid. So when the news hit me that Hollywood was producing AVP, i couldnt really wait for it to be screen.
That was how excited i was until i found out the director, screen story writter and screen play writter is PAUL W.S ANDERSON.

"Why does the sun go on shinning?
Why does the sea rush to shore?
Dont they know it's the END OF THE WORLD?"

I said to myself, "Hollywood run out of talents".

Since i am soooooooooo disappointed with the director, why still i spent $14.90 on the ORIGINAL copy of AVP?

The Reason:
Thanks to the Courts furniture shop. Everytime i walked pass the Courts at White Sand complex, the big plasma TV at its entrance was showing the scene where Alien Versusing Predator. Everytime, for the pass 3 weeks, whenever i pass by the Courts, the surround system was speaking to me in a ghostly voice,"come~.... watch~.... nice movie~~.... movie of the year~~~~.... action-packed triller~~~.... adrenalin-rush guaranteed~~~..." So, on the fateful day of 9th MArch 2005, i walked into the near by movie shop and bought the AVP.

So, this morning, i woke up, brushed my teeth, took a bath and switched on the TV and placed the AVP disc into the player, sat down on the sofa and keep my eyes open.

Two hours later, i pretend there was nothing happened, went into my room and took out The Incredibles to be played on the player. But deep down, i have to praise PAUL W.S ANDERSON for this one.

Not a bad one and definitely not a failed one as well. Though there are some fallacies in the script but overall, not a bad watch. Finally~~ an applause to Mr.Anderson.

(By the way, neither Twentieth Fox nor the movie shop at White Sand Complex pay me to write this up.)

Wow! what a long entry this time, i havent even blog about the 3rd movie.

ok, the third one was a FOREIGN movie (jacksaid, stop guessing, NOT JAPANESE PORN ok). Actually i watched this same movie twice in the cinema last year. So, thought of having it as a collection, so i bought it on that same fateful day when i bought AVP. It is none other than the Passion of The Christ.


Tuesday, March 08, 2005

A Short One

WAH LAU EH.... got rejected!!!

haihhh.....just now, gathered all my boiling hot guts to call "J" to date her for dinner... but was utterly rejected... she told me that her timeslot was full in the week... so i asked her whether is she attached or not, then she replied, "ya, i am in a relationship oredi"...

*CREECKK* heard that? heart cracked..

but she was kind enough to add, "But u noe wat, you're a really cute guy! Haha smile! We can still be friends!"


Thats the 'typicaliest' responce afforrdably offer by any Rejectors.

Seems like i have wasted my guts to a fruitless attempt. Felt like being cheated in a TOTO bet.

Friday, March 04, 2005

Daltonians Reunion 2005

The faces in "The Most Unwanted Student List" in the year 1999, BM High School.

The girls (from left-right): "the red-color shirt-insignificant", Sin Wei, Chin Chin, Siew Yenn, Sakemi, Ai Shan.

The guys (from left-right): Kelvin, Pak Kuan, Chee Seong, Soon Siang, me, Wen Jern.

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